Psuedo-Maturity

The office vampire still amuses me with her vacant intellect, pungent racism and pseudo-maturity. What I mean by pseudo-maturity is best exemplified by what I over heard her complaining about the other day.

Secretary 1: Been typing away all day on forms in the back room there.
Office Vampire: I use to work an associate in another law firm that had me typing away at forms all day.
Secretary 1: Boy, my fingers are tired.
Office Vampire: One time, he clearly made a verb error and so I fixed it for him on the form. He comes up to me and starts yelling at me - 'how dare you change that!' obviously he was upset a mere Secretary had corrected him.
Secretary 1: Did you ask him about it?
Office Vampire: No, but it was clearly wrong. As an attorney he should have known that. Needless to say, my stint there didn't last too long.
Secretary 1: I have to get back to work.

Then there was the time she got really angry and complained to our receptionist about the amount of fruit the partner she works for takes from the fruit salad bowl we get every morning. Yes, I get breakfast for free at work. No complaints here, but the Office Vampire.. well..

Office Vampire: This is getting ridiculous. Every morning S. walks in and gets a big bowl of fruit leaving the rest of the office with scraps.
Receptionist: Well, he is a partner and the reason we have fruit in the first place.
Office Vampire: Yeah, but shouldn't we order two bowls. I mean one for S. and maybe a secret one for the rest of the office. It's just not fair. He comes in early and has his pick.
Receptionist: I'll have to ask G about that.
Office Vampire: I mean he takes all the strawberries, kiwis and oh yeah, orange slices and leaves us the melon!
Receptionist: No one else has complained.
Office Vampire: He's just so freaking cheap. ahhh!

Sorry, this was all within this past week. She also got in a fight with another secretary about the fact that she has been assigned two nights to stay late in July -OUT OF THE WHOLE MONTH OF JULY. She referred to it as forced labor. It's not like you are not getting paid overtime for it. And because she's an older lady, wears glasses, dresses conservativly, even presents herself in an intellectual manner - one would assume she had the maturity level of a nun at a dinner for the Pope. Not so much. It's more along the lines of an 8th grade school trip to Washington, DC. You know, the kids that try to do pulls up while the metro train is moving.