OH dear

This is an e-mail I got this morning:

 

Good Morning D,
 
I wanted to check in with you regarding your plans for law school.  Have you made any decisions as of yet.  If so, and you are planning to leave the Firm, I need to begin working on hiring your replacement.  Please let me know what you will be doing.
 
Thank you very much.
NEW HR LADY FROM HELL
 

I should really thank this lady. Without her, I wouldn't have finnagled my way to a  15 percent raise*. Also, (like I should talk) aren't you suppose to put question marks after questions? And as a public service announcment - Don't use fancy fonts in work e-mails with undistinuishable shades of blue, closing lines should end in commas, and the closing "thanks you very much," makes you sound like you are three.

 

*15 percent raise story. So one day my co-worker gets and e-mail from a friend at GW who just recently graduated directing my co-worker to GWU work website. There at the site, was a description of a job that started a two dozen bejamins higher then both what I and my co-worker were making. I thought, hey that's odd. It describes exactly what i'm doing now. Hey, wait, that's the hiring lady in New York. Hey! That's my law firm! What did I do? I sent my resume with a short sarcastic e-mail to one of the partners the HR lady and our recpetionist - for kicks. Anyway, that Friday my boss took us lowly and morally demoralized paralegals out to lunch to 'discuss.' HR went into a ruckus, The managing partner basically made the New HR Lady give us prorated raises, and I came out of the ordeal looking like Ferris Bueler on his day off.