Lean Cuisine is not Made for Men
Every Saturday or Sunday evening while I'm strolling through my local Giant Grocery Store, the age old debate everyman struggles over rages on in my head : What do I want to eat...specifically...what do I want to eat for lunch?
Now I've been through my phases. I used to pack a sandwich, unusually turkey or ham on spicy mustard between slices of wheat bread. It would accompany an apple or piece of fruit of some sort and maybe pretzels. Yeah, I got bored of that quickly. I would really have to load my sandwich with a half pound of turkey for any kind of satisfaction. And think of all the separate items that have to be bought - lettuce, mustard, meat, bread, tomatoes; the effort one has to put into making lunch the night before; and finally the satisfaction factor vs. work put in. It all added up to boring and not worth it. And have you ever had a sandwich sit in mustard for 8 hours? Not appetizing.
There was the Tuna Nicolese salad phase. Lettuce, tuna, egg, olives and oil and vinegar. Again, it's great freshly prepared, but have you had a salad after it's been soaked in dressing for 8 hours? Not appetizing, and obviously the cost/benefit factor wasn't up to par.
A few weeks ago I happen to swing by the frozen food section. I'm a bigger fan of frozen vegetables then I am of canned vegetables. Taste fresher. Wouldn't you rather be frozen to be preserved rather then canned in some weird juice? And holy cow was Lean Cuisine on sale. Each one had a delectable name and picture - Chicken Carbonera, Three bean chili, Chicken Fettacini, Pepper Meatloaf. Each packed in a convenient white box with a promise of a flavorful healthy meal after a five to seven minute stint in the microwave.
So I bought a bunch and have been bringing them to work for lunch. Of course I have to clearly mark which Chicken Carbonera mine as to not confuse them with the other Chicken Caboneras the secretaries and ladies in the office bring. That should have been my first clue. No other male brings lean cuisine for lunch or any other frozen/microwavable instant meal for lunch. Only yours truly, the polite Asian kid. So I am now the polite Asian kid that has lean cuisine for lunch.
Not only do I have to wait by the microwave for my meal to be cooked, I have to make small talk with the middle aged to shouldn't-you-be-retired-aged Secretaries. I'm okay with small topics like weather, vacation plans and movies, but don't expect me to have an opinion on American Idol or what's that show with the people on the Island..Gilligan, but not as funny. Anyway, I'll find myself saying - so what's for lunch - referring to their frozen meal. There will be responses like 'Oh, I have the mac and cheese. I like the Fettuccine, but it always upsets my stomach.' Thanks for the tip.
The worst part - The absolute worst part - I'm still hungry. 268 calories equals two very refreshing Sam Adams which I would prefer over a lean cuisine any day, but there is this stigma about drinking at work - the Europeans do it, so we shouldn't.
I've learned my lesson - lean cuisine is not for men, and now will go hunt out a meaty sandwich.
Now I've been through my phases. I used to pack a sandwich, unusually turkey or ham on spicy mustard between slices of wheat bread. It would accompany an apple or piece of fruit of some sort and maybe pretzels. Yeah, I got bored of that quickly. I would really have to load my sandwich with a half pound of turkey for any kind of satisfaction. And think of all the separate items that have to be bought - lettuce, mustard, meat, bread, tomatoes; the effort one has to put into making lunch the night before; and finally the satisfaction factor vs. work put in. It all added up to boring and not worth it. And have you ever had a sandwich sit in mustard for 8 hours? Not appetizing.
There was the Tuna Nicolese salad phase. Lettuce, tuna, egg, olives and oil and vinegar. Again, it's great freshly prepared, but have you had a salad after it's been soaked in dressing for 8 hours? Not appetizing, and obviously the cost/benefit factor wasn't up to par.
A few weeks ago I happen to swing by the frozen food section. I'm a bigger fan of frozen vegetables then I am of canned vegetables. Taste fresher. Wouldn't you rather be frozen to be preserved rather then canned in some weird juice? And holy cow was Lean Cuisine on sale. Each one had a delectable name and picture - Chicken Carbonera, Three bean chili, Chicken Fettacini, Pepper Meatloaf. Each packed in a convenient white box with a promise of a flavorful healthy meal after a five to seven minute stint in the microwave.
So I bought a bunch and have been bringing them to work for lunch. Of course I have to clearly mark which Chicken Carbonera mine as to not confuse them with the other Chicken Caboneras the secretaries and ladies in the office bring. That should have been my first clue. No other male brings lean cuisine for lunch or any other frozen/microwavable instant meal for lunch. Only yours truly, the polite Asian kid. So I am now the polite Asian kid that has lean cuisine for lunch.
Not only do I have to wait by the microwave for my meal to be cooked, I have to make small talk with the middle aged to shouldn't-you-be-retired-aged Secretaries. I'm okay with small topics like weather, vacation plans and movies, but don't expect me to have an opinion on American Idol or what's that show with the people on the Island..Gilligan, but not as funny. Anyway, I'll find myself saying - so what's for lunch - referring to their frozen meal. There will be responses like 'Oh, I have the mac and cheese. I like the Fettuccine, but it always upsets my stomach.' Thanks for the tip.
The worst part - The absolute worst part - I'm still hungry. 268 calories equals two very refreshing Sam Adams which I would prefer over a lean cuisine any day, but there is this stigma about drinking at work - the Europeans do it, so we shouldn't.
I've learned my lesson - lean cuisine is not for men, and now will go hunt out a meaty sandwich.
posted by Class Officers at
2:06 PM
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