New Years Eve

The problem -  "Hey, so what are you up to New Year's Eve?" and worse, "What do you want to do New Year's eve.." implying that you must spend the most overrated night of the year with person requesting not only your presence, but also take responsibility for planning both yours and whomever's overrated night.

In response to the $125 cover charges, binge drinkers who park themselves at open bars and inflated cab prices I offer you my top ten things I'd like to be doing on New Years Eve.

1.Not pay a $125 to go to a party that serves unlimited amounts of booze to hang out with a bunch of overly ambitious party-goers who feel more privileged then you because they paid $125 too. Trust me, I've done this before. It ends well only for the VIP people who paid $200 because they don't have to wait in line for Zelco Vodka drinks and Canadian Mist Whiskey. These things can be fun if you go in a group, unless you have that one whiner in the group who is horribly self-indulgent and miserable that night because she doesn't have anyone to kiss at midnight and gets all depressed cause she is 15 pounds heavier then last year and for some reason has gas and feels bloated...so she's not dancing either.

2.Dressy cocktail parties. These can be fun as long as you like the people there. I went to one of these last year and had a blast. It works because I like meeting new people, the music is not ear deafening so you can make conversation, and it's comfortable. Once the Jack Daniels came out, I sorta remember my dance partner falling into a Christmas tree, a late night dinner at a kebab place with a homeless man, and a bus ride home at 3am. Classy.

3. Football - I would really like to be playing football. Co-ed would make it more fun because then you can't take the game as seriously, and if you do, look in the mirror and say, "I'm a douche-bag." (for those who remember, I use to play in a co-ed flag football league last year for a congressional league. We ended up playing really well and getting to the Superbowl. Then I realized it was getting too competitive and the fun wasn't there anymore. I called myself a douche-bag and opted not to play this season.)

 

4. Rock Climbing - There's a gym in Rockville, MD cleverly called the Rockville Climbing Center. How cool would that be. "What did you do on NYE?" "Oh, I just hung around and climbed a 100' rock wall with some buddies."

 

5. Scrabble - I wish I could play more often. So, I'm a dork, but speed scrabble while drinking -I'm a cool dork.

 

6. Beer Pong - greatest game in the world.

 

7. A bottle of McCullen 12, Tom Waits and hanging out with the dog (although I don't have a dog currently in residence, I'm picturing an 80lbs chocolate lab, who likes to fetch and play tug of war). I do this when I feel like being alone, cause usual I am alone when I do this. Tom Waits is under appreciated in the female arena, hence I only do this alone...conclusion - I'd rather not do this unless I'm alone, but I'd rather not be alone.

 

8. An intimate dinner with the girlfriend. Some place nice with wine, dessert. This is always nice, but especially nice on NYE. You rehash where you are, where you've been and where you are going, but together, and NYE is one of those times where you can bring up those type of conversations, without one or the other thinking, "Is he/she thinking about abandoning ship?" And of course, everybody likes sex.

 

9. Throwing a party. Even after all the talk about having NYE being overrated, I would still throw the party..even if NYE is the one night in the year where most people on average get black out drunk, most people on average randomly hook up with someone, more often then not the police will show up. If the house is still standing and no one died, then you are guaranteed to have thrown a most successful party..also, as long as you do not run out of booze before 3am.

 

 On another note, I once threw one of these parties while on break during my sophomore year of college. It was only suppose to be a few people and of course, a gazillion showed up. My parents came home to find my Cousin bleeding from his mouth (he was showing us how he could do one handed pushups) and puking; a good friend's girlfriend at the time was in the bathroom giving some other dud a blow job, slut; a few other underaged kids puking outside and a romping, hip-grinding party going on inside. Let's just say It's still talked about to this day. And thank god my parents were wasted too. It hit me how drunk my dad was when he decided to go around and take pictures of me and my friends with the new digital instead of kicking everyone out and grounding me for life. 12/31/01 Baby!

 

10. Take it easy and have a kick ass brunch the next morning. New Year's Day Brunch is probably my favorite part about NYE. a. I love Breakfast; b. Mimosas are delicious; c. BACON; d. BACON e. BACON. Being unproductive is encouraged, and football is on ALL DAY. Last year I think I saw King Kong at the Uptown Theatre. Not that it was a mistake to go watch a movie or anything, but being hungover and watching an action packed, visually jarring moving on a huge single screen theatre is not the best idea during a hangover.